Poetry: Sunset In A Cup

Bring me the sunset in a cup for I want to drink.
I want to bring in the happiness and beauty, to make it my own.
To hold it close to my heart, never to let it go.
I wish to look into the glow and witness my future.
My past too dark and bleak
Bring me the sunset in cup so that I can taste freedom.
I wish to leave my cage and shackles behind,
To hopefully be forgotten.
The nightmare is right on my heel.
I can feel his breath on the back of my neck.
His hands forever holding me back and holding me down.
Bring me the sunset in a cup so that I may drink of freedom and the future.

Poetry: Me, Myself, and a Firefly

I never measured up

I was inadequate

I was lacking

Like being born without an essential piece

Right in the middle of the puzzle

A gaping whole

What was this piece?

What was so lacking?

Maybe it was cumulative

All of the irrecoverable hugs and kisses from the parental units

Lack of effort to have family dinners

The non-existence of constructive and healthy communication

Sparks in my eyes died with each harsh word

With each push and shove

Pieces of my heart splintered each time you turned your back on me

When I cried you would just walk away

I became quiet and subdued when I needed a hug the most

Sealing what was left of my heart behind the shadows of walls

Escaping to the only resource I had left

Me, myself, and a firefly

The time is now and I am still being told I am incomplete

Unworthy of the mother & daughter relationship my friends enjoy

I am lacking and I am wrong because I can cut such a poisonous relationship out of my life

The lamentation being screamed “Blood is thicker than water!”

How can I turn my back?

How can I be so heartless to walk away?

I am only emulating the behaviors I was taught so young.

I am saving myself

I am walking away

I am now whole and complete

The pieces have returned

Stollen back from you

I will no longer be waiting in the wind for you to love me

I am no longer at your convenience

You will never measure up

You are inadequate

You are lacking

You were born without an essential piece

Right in the middle of a puzzle

A gaping hole

My daughters

The jewels of my life

Will never know you

I will lavish on them

The love you never gave

For all of the times you walked away

I will curl them close to my heart

Telling them I love them

You will never measure up

You are inadequate

You are lacking

You were born without an essential piece

I will forever protect myself and the joys of my heart from Y-O-U!!!

Poetry: My Sunlight

I have written a poem in dedication to my beautiful little girls.

I have found my pieces of sunlight

My daily doses of delight</em

Even in the dead of night

These two pieces burning bright

They are my firelight

They burn stronger than daylight

Twinkle, twinkle my pieces of sunlight

You are my delight

I will keep watch during the night

Always looking for your glow burning bright

I take warmth from your firelight

Burning stronger than daylight

I bask in your sunlight

I smile in delight

With no need to fear the night

I know you will always be there burning bright

I find comfort in your firelight

So much more distinct from daylight

I have found my pieces of sunlight

My daily doses of delight

Even in the dead of night

These two pieces burning bright

They are my firelight

They burn stronger than daylight

Poetry: I Am

After my recent post, I picked out this poem I wrote in high school to publish.

crazy and demented

sick and twisted

unbelievably tormented

I AM

every time i close my eyes

i see a nightmare

that haunts me

in daylight hours

i still see a darkness

even though the sun shines

a breath of fresh air shall not stir

for death and destruction

I AM

pain and sorrow

dwell in my heart

every breath i take

is shallow and slow

un-living

unbelieving

I AM

Poetry: Highway of Pain

This is another poem that I wrote in high school.

A hundred miles an hour

Down the highway of pain

Pain and fear merge in a head on collision

Procreating a storm of thunder and illusion

Lightening flashes in the distance

Illuminating the world around me

Tears stream down my face in a torrential rain

My soul screams its pain and heartache

All I ever seem to find is a never ending hell

Blackness trying to swallow me

Insanity engulfing my life in pieces

A hundred miles an hour

Down the highway of pain

Feelings expressed, but yet ignored

I hear death calling my name

Crawling into a hole

Into myself

I see a tormented soul

Fear in every corner of my heart

A hundred miles an hour

Down the highway of pain

Poetry: With a Deep Sigh

~With a Deep Sigh~

I am out of place, I don’t fit.

I move, I flail, I scream against the walls of my mind.

I am limited, I am stifled.

I am not myself.

The shell of my soul, my inner landscapes are barren.

Someone has stollen my essence,

Hidden and stashed.

I can’t find me.

I have disappeared.

The puppeteer has tangled my strings,

A wooden doll without a face that changes.

I am emotionless!

Poetry: With Each Tear

Between eighth grade and my freshman year in high school was probably the worst.  I used to write poetry and what I was able to salvage and save from Jack A., I did so on little pieces of paper hidden throughout my bedroom… that way if he found one spot, I would only lose one piece of myself.  I did my best to combine everything I have written but thought that I would share a few on my blog.  I don’t think it’s very good (I was a ‘preteen’) and haven’t shared it with anyone.

With Each Tear

With each tear that falls,

A silent scream can be heard - 

If you listen closely,

You can hear it.

No one tries to understand,

And no one cares - 

With each tear that falls,

The anger builds.

The strain of anger is great, 

Bottling up the anger to be sent away,

To be released on another day.

With each tear that falls,

A silent scream can be heard - 

Can you hear it?